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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 11:33 am 
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Mostly A Man. Mostly.

Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:51 pm
Posts: 5642
Location: Coogee Bay.
In the 'Developing Masculinity' thread, I mentioned that you need to live your desires. I've noticed that there's a few guys on the boards who're not very in touch with their desires so I thought I'd put together a 'how to' guide on finding them.

Getting in touch with desire is one of the most important aspects in creating the life that you want.

Happiness only comes when you get something you desire. Fulfilment only comes when you do something that you desire. If you don't intrinsically desire something, it's not going to bring you any amount of joy. If you want to experience more positive emotions in your life then you need to know what it is that you really desire.

Getting in touch with desire is a very simple process but it's something that's not often that easy.

Desires exist in us, all the time. They're a part product of part of our brain that lies deep inside. The reason that we're not in touch with them is that we often block out the best window we have to finding them - our emotions.

This can be a bit of a difficult concept to understand but just humour me for a minute.

Imagine yourself in a bar. There's people everywhere, the lights are flashing, the music is pumping and the vibe is great. Your standing in the very middle of the bar and to your left, you notice the woman of your dreams. She's beautiful, she's stunning, you want to go and talk to her but you don't. You start to experience fear bubbling up inside you. You start to feel it grip you through your chest, your throat, you start to get that feeling of tunnel vision, everything's going to shit.

What are you afraid of? Is it what other people will think? Is it getting rejected? Is it having her laugh in your face? What is it for you?

Now, I want you to look at that fear - In that moment, what is it that you actually desire? If you could fulfil that desire, do you think you'd feel that fear?

The basis of every fear is a desire. Every time you experience fear, it's because you desire to do something, be something, be able to exist in a certain way and you perceive someone outside you stopping you.

Across the other side of the room, you see an old and very dear friend that you fell out of touch with. This is someone you went to school with years ago and she has grown into a total hottie. She smiles and waves at you, beckoning you to come over.

Do you feel the fear with her? Do you feel that grip in your chest? Do you feel your throat close down? Even if you do, I doubt it's anywhere near what you felt with the other girl. Why? What's the difference?

The difference here is that you can fulfil your desire. The difference is that you don't perceive anything stopping you from doing what you want, being what you want.

Now this doesn't just stop with fears, it extends all the way through to every emotion.

The key to getting more in touch with your desire is to get in touch with your emotions.

If you experience happiness in your world, it's because your world is the way you want it to be. If you experience fulfilment, it's because you've been able to do what you desire to do. If you experience excitement, it's because you're anticipating that what you want to happen is about to happen.

The opposite goes for negative emotions.

If you experience sadness, it's because your world isn't the way you desire it to be. If you experience anger, it's because there' s someone or something has prevent you from living your desire. If you experience disappointment, it's because something you desired to happen, didn't.

Your emotions are a window to your desire. They'll illuminate your core desires faster and stronger than any other path. The reason that most people aren't in touch with their desire is they block out negative emotion. People see them as scary things and so they run from them. What they're actually running from is the pathway to their deepest core desire.

Now, at this point, I need to clarify what I'm talking about here with desire. On this journey, it can seem like the desires you experience relate to a specific object, person, or experience. And it's fine to experience that. If you feel as though any one object, person or experience would complete you, then you need to go after it.

But one thing I want you to remain conscious of throughout your experience is that external objects are transitory. They come and they go. They're never going to be in your life for ever. Go after these things, experience the happiness and fulfilment you get from them, but be conscious that they're never going to last forever and if you want to experience that feeling forever, you need to look inside yourself.

There is a secret to long term fulfilment and I'm going to let you in on.

Say you got the object, or person that you were looking for. How would it change the way you act? How would it change the way you engage the world? Would you feel more closed off or would you open up? Do you think it's the object that's making you feel better or do you think it's the way you're allowing yourself to be in the world that's allowing you to experience that?

Experiencing long term fulfilment isn't about what you can get from the world, it's how you allow yourself to be. It's how you choose to engage the world. It's not what the world can give you, it's how you can exist in your reality. And it's about how you recreate your world.

Every time you experience anger, it's because you're perceiving something or someone preventing you from existing the way you want to in your world. But can anyone ever stop you being open? Can anyone ever stop you being free?

Think about it.

The core of every emotion and desire is 'How do I want to be in my world?' and 'How do I want my world to be?'

But don't take my word on this, try it out for yourself. Go after the objects of your desire. Experience the wonder, joy and love you experience when you have them. And then experience the pain that you feel when they leave your world. When they do, use that to drive yourself to find something more permanent, more real, use it to drive yourself to find you.

So stay grounded in your emotion, allow it to flood through you. Experience the pain, the anger, the frustration, the sadness that it brings into your world, and then use that to find what it is that you desire in life.


LoGun

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:27 pm 
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Fresh Fish

Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 6:07 am
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Beautiful post


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:42 pm 
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Get Real Graduate

Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 8:50 pm
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With all the things i have been reading lately from AI and some books im reading the word Purpose keeps coming up. It has come up enough time's for it to really hit me and think .... shit what is my purpose?
I was just wondering , in speaking off desire's and reaching your core. Is that the same as your purpose?
I feel I have taken a real positive step lately in starting to do and move towards things that make me happy however im not sure if these things are my purpose.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:06 pm 
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Fresh Fish

Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:58 pm
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I think for me i need to come to terms with my emotions in order to overcome their grip, I refer to the seduction sucks e-book that LoGun sent me and after it i realised that i need to understand what my desires are and how i can achive them whilst still knowing that i have no control over any external influences but that i shud just go with the flow and see what happens!!!


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 5:47 pm 
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Dr. Phil
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Location: merrylands!
that post changed my perception of life , thank you man


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 9:58 pm 
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Get Real Graduate

Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2009 12:51 am
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This is a fantastic post that I believe everyone can relate to. I really believe that once you have something that you are passionate about you truly are happier.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:15 am 
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Fresh Fish
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Hi, mates, I´m kinda new here and I´ve been working on my inner game, but after I read this post I noticed what my biggest fears are, then I have found what my deepest desires are, but I´ve noticed also that my deepest fear is not finding that special girl, you know, good, smart, pretty, a girl who could be a good mom, and I have maybe a fixation with that, but I want her to be very very pretty is there something wrong with that? (I have had it before), but I lost her, now my greater fear is not finding a girl with this qualities, or find her but that she doesn´t like me. I really feel passionate about finding that women, is this wrong? Am I just a miserable guy looking for a girl to save me from my miserable life wich I´m not happy wih?


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:00 am 
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Mostly A Man. Mostly.

Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:51 pm
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Location: Coogee Bay.
How would you feel if you didn't 'get' her?


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:10 am 
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Fresh Fish
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Joined: Wed Dec 02, 2009 6:24 am
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I would feel I´m not growing as a man, and that I´m slowing my progress and missing a lot of happiness. I believe in God and strongly believe that as children of God we can progress and be happy for eternity if we obey His commandments. My main purpose is to progress and to be happy, I believe this will come if I obey God´s commandments, and He has commanded that man and woman to marry and raise a family. I feel man and woman progress faster being together than by themselves alone. I also believe that greater happiness come from man and woman being together, married. Sorry, is it allowed to talk about religion here? well, I just wanted to say this because it´s something I deeply believe to be true. I would never ever marry someone I´m not deeply in love, and considering I want to be with her forever, I want her to be a wonderful and beautiful woman, so she can help me become better, and I want to be the my best too, so I can help her be better.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:31 am 
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Mostly A Man. Mostly.

Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:51 pm
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Location: Coogee Bay.
I seems that I didn't word that very well. What emotion would you feel if you didn't 'get' her?

The reason I'm asking this is because the things (women for instance) are only a pathway we're using to expereince an emotion. So what emotion would you experience if you didn't 'get' her?


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