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Board index : THE LOUNGE : Inner Game Essentials

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 1:53 pm 
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Get Real Graduate

Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2012 11:28 am
Posts: 45
Pianoman888 wrote:
Here's just a little something I typed up yesterday after realizing a few things about Getting and Doing:


On Doing

Living in this way is simple once you get it. You realize that even expecting life to be any better through this way destroys your ability to live it, and that it can only be lived when you expect NOTHING from it. It could be the road to heaven, or the road to hell, but you can't take it expecting it to be either. You just go, because you want to live in some different way, you want to shed the weight of the world, the weight of the secrets and rules that you've been living under. For all you know you'll get used, abused, hurt, lied to, defamed, and destroyed, but that doesn't matter anymore. You just live it, and that's what makes it worthwhile.

This is a road. It is not a good road, it is not a bad road. It is not a short road, nor a long road. It isn't a road to heaven, or a road to hell. This road is just like any other road in the world. It's not "the next step", it's not "the answer"; it's just a road, leading somewhere that you've never heard of. You don't follow it because you expect good or bad at the end. How can you? You know nothing about this road or where it leads. You follow it for one reason, and that's because you're tired of the weight you're required to carry on the road you currently walk, the weight of worry, of anxiety, of secrets and the stresses they bring, and on the new road, you're not required to carry those weights. It could be the road to hell, or it could be the road to heaven. It could be a dirt country road, or it could be an interstate that goes through mountains and valleys, past rivers and oceans. It could lead to exactly the same place as the road you're on. You don't know. You can never know, if you hope to walk it. All you know is the weight on your shoulders, which leads to the only question you can honestly ask: do you want to keep carrying the weight, or not?


Summed up it says that the switch to doing can't be because I expect anything out of it. I've found that even when I tried to switch to doing so I could stop using people and hurting them, it didn't work because I was still expecting something (to not hurt people anymore). I realized that for me, it can only ever be about the feelings. In getting, I have this weight on me constantly from all the worries about being judged and rejected and all that crap. I finally realized that that weight will always be there so long as I'm hiding myself in getting, and I'm tired of it. It's not a decision that I'm attributing an extreme sognificance to, like a life changing event or some huge ego boost (which was what it was before, and, I believe, the reason why I didn't get much changing done), it's just dropping it, because I'm tired of carrying it. Now I just think to myself: is this helping create the life I want, a life free of that weight? And that's all there is. It used to feel like work, now it's just what has to be done. It's still scary as hell, but there's a certain excitement and fun about it that wasn't there before.


Thank you! This is an issue I've been struggling with recently: I know I need to just "be myself" and follow my instinct to find fullfillment, but to paraphrase The Incredibles "what part of myself do I be true to?" At one point in my life I even saw the value in offending people because I interpreted it as "challenging their belief system", yet I still ended up worrying about hurting or not hurting them.

Trying to gauge their response is a "getting" mentally. Do, and leave the rest up to universe.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 2:10 pm 
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Get Real Graduate

Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2012 11:28 am
Posts: 45
Regarding sexual attraction:

Why do women like "cocky funny"? Why do they create arguments? Why do they give out "shit tests"? Because they're exciting! It depends on you to turn into something positive or negative, and negative emotions will always come to an end.

You don't need to put her down or demonstrate your status. You CAN compliment her and say nice things about her, all that matters is that is that positive, fun emotions are being generated. And of course, if YOU already feel that way, it'll naturally be that way :)


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 5:19 pm 
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Endgame Aficionado
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Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:42 am
Posts: 978
cocky funny or confident and unassuming?


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 3:46 pm 
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Be Powerful Powerhouse

Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2010 9:26 am
Posts: 252
girls really really really want to be hit on.

and

You need to be a living embodiment of deriving that certainty from what you are doing (or creating) rather than what you are getting. It can be easy to fall back into old thinking because so much of the world is in a getting mindset (ESPECIALLY with women).


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 7:51 am 
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Get Real Graduate

Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2012 11:28 am
Posts: 45
Sean wrote:
cocky funny or confident and unassuming?


Both. What I was trying to say is that the common theme that runs through all of them is that you are giving the woman excitement, not trying to put the idea that I am an attractive man into her head.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 12:54 am 
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Fresh Fish

Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2012 10:16 pm
Posts: 8
That i got a lot to learn and then a lot to teach


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 12:26 am 
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Endgame Aficionado

Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 10:00 am
Posts: 166
People judging are not defining who you are. If there is one thing that is defined by their judging attitude, it is their very own charakter.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 12:06 pm 
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Be Powerful Powerhouse
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Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 3:42 am
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Today I realized a couple of things:


1. Today I was feeling particularly bad (powerless, impotent, like a leaf in the wind). I had just gotten home and I was linking this feeling to not being able to work and support myself while studying all at the same time. And I saw that, in my mind, I understood that, and then I spent a few moments just keeping on feeling shit. Add to this that an idea has been floating in my head the last couple of days, that once I go back home, I'll take up all these responsibilities and I'll feel powerful and shit. And then this hit me:

"Instead of feeling shit because I can't do *one* thing that would make me feel in control (working for money) and just keeping on feeling shit, what I should do is focus on the opportunities I *DO* have for feeling how I want to feel right now. So, what can I do, right now?

-I was telling all this in the middle of my apartment with a cloth in my hand out loud-

"Well, I can keep on cleaning the apartment, then I can go to sleep so I can study enough for tomorrow's test. That way I'll take responsibility for the life I want, which is one where I achieve my goals, and who would've thought, it's kind of a way to repay to mom and dad for their support, with good grades, with effort, etc."

And this was all right there, in the first week of BP and Get Real (I think). It's crazy how I can forget these things. They are so powerful when you take advantage of them. Now, I'll keep studying. Hope this helps anyone.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 12:39 pm 
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Dr. Phil

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:43 pm
Posts: 160
I can relate Mariano...

This week I felt as though I'd mentally checked out of work because I go on holidays tomorrow and have been working relatively hard all year, particularly the previous week. I wouldn't say I felt shit, more apathetic and sluggish complete with the yawning and lack of discipline to wake up/show up on time. Then I thought...

Would the holiday be more rewarding if I took it tomorrow after a full day's work or if I sat out/half-assed the last few days?

Would I enjoy my time away (with more money to afford new, fun experiences) more if I worked focused or just goofed off/rested and thought about the holiday?

Would my friends/family/girlfriend enjoy their time with me over this time realising I'd worked hard or that I'd just been mentally focusing my energy on them rather than on improving myself? How would I feel around them - fulfilled/relaxed or needy/wanting?

Gonna slog out one more day then get energy focused on packing, a good workout and sleep before the flight! Hoo Haa!


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 9:01 pm 
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Fresh Fish

Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2013 7:43 am
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Some of my most positive changes came out of the moments of my greatest frustration.


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