Quantcast

Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

Board index : THE LOUNGE : Inner Game Essentials

Author Message
 Post subject: Perfectionism
PostPosted: Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:22 am 
Offline
Fresh Fish

Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2013 8:30 am
Posts: 9
Location: Argentina
Hi guys. After thinking about it seriously for a whike, I have realized that I am a perfectionist, and this is killing not only my chances of meeting women, but every other areas of my life (work, friends, free time, etc).

Is there any book, articles, etc that talks about perfectionism and how to overcome it? (or better, how to feel good with being imperfect?)


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:42 pm 
Offline
Fresh Fish

Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2013 9:13 am
Posts: 6
Hey guillemd, I know what you are talking about cause I also have a perfectionistic character.

Something that may work is realising you can't always be perfect. You need to strive towards perfection in some cases and that is not possible if you don't do things; especially new things or things you aren't well experienced in.

I also think that the articles on this site will help you. It could be that you are finding excuses not to approach women by looking for flaws so you don't "have" to approach.

I hope this is helpfull for you.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Perfectionism
PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 6:19 pm 
Offline
Endgame Aficionado

Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2013 2:28 am
Posts: 3
Hi,

This is one thing that I struggled with as well for a long time. The thing is, you should ask yourself WHY you're being such a perfectionist. Who are you doing it for? Are you doing it for yourself or for someone else? What do you think will happen when you go for a little less perfection?
I would say, despite what everyone tells you, perfectionism is not so much a character trait, but rather something you learned to 'do', for some specific reason. It is up to you to find out what that specific reason is.

In my case (and I'm not saying this is true for you as well, so go and find out for yourself), I started out thinking that I was a perfectionist. Much later I started realising that behind the perfectionism was really the fear of failure. Some time later the realisation hit me that I did not care whether I failed or not, just as long as other people did not see me fail, which brought me to the core: I cared way too much about what people thought of me. (That's where AI helped a lot.)

It takes a lot of guts to be totally honest with yourself, but it is the only way you to find out what is going on in the background for you.

I would sincerely recommend meditation to overcome these kind of barriers in your life. It really helps getting in touch with yourself and why you do specific things. I personally like zen meditation, but any kind of meditation will do (mindfullness, yoga, Tibetan, Christian, ....).


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 2:33 pm 
Offline
Fresh Fish

Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2013 8:30 am
Posts: 9
Location: Argentina
Thanks for your answers, guys. I found a book which is really helping me (actually I feel lighter just by reading a few pages). It´s called "present perfect" by Pavel Somov.

I began doing daygame with the idea of doing the 30 day challenge (approach 1 girl per day). It was awsome til day five, and in day 6 I was so anxious of not doing an approach til the point I wasn´t enjoying it. That´s when I came to think (and looking other aspect of my life) that I was being a perfectionist.

As I said for me that problem is the core. The book is helping me understanding the "why" and AI helps me to understand the "how". Great conbination.

pd: 2 days ago I started the PMO challenge, more relief and keeping the things in a journal. So no stress so far. If can have a look at the book, I really recomend it.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:06 pm 
Offline
Endgame Aficionado

Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2013 2:28 am
Posts: 3
Glad to hear that you've found something that works for you. :)


Back to top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

Board index : THE LOUNGE : Inner Game Essentials


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
 
© Copyright Attraction Institute 2011 - All Rights Reserved.
Attraction Institute Blog  |  Seduction Community Sucks Blog  |  Inner Game Challenge  |  Disclaimer  |  Privacy Policy